I Call Bullshit: Coterie Edition

My mom told me not to publish this because it may compromise my chances of getting a job in the near future. I mean I can’t argue, I would never want to lower my chances of getting a job (especially in today’s day and age). But quite honestly, for the time being, I find the truth more important. I would rather spread honesty than higher my chances of getting a job. And if I’m being really REALLY honest with you all, I’d rather be hired under the circumstances of honesty than a “perfect” exterior I impress on the world. SO LET’S GET STARTED…

Coterie

Above picture taken before my second day of work at Coterie 2015 when I quickly realized I’d need an IV drip of caffeine to handle the zoo they call the “fashion industry.” 

I just find it funny how much we find the need to glamorize things in this incredibly shallow industry – that is, the fashion industry. My fashion friends will know that Coterie was this past week in NYC, and as someone who worked at Coterie last year I have a few very honest things to say.

For those who don’t know what Coterie is, it’s basically a giant fashion trade-show held at the Jacob Javitz Center in NYC twice a year.

So I made up this list after Coterie, probably on my train ride home from one of the worst experiences of my career, and it was titled “Things I Learned From Coterie” and it goes a little something like this:

  1. The coat check ladies are always the nicest.
  2. If someone doesn’t know your name they’ll call you by a pet name – usually something along the lines of “honey” or “baby.”
  3. The bigger the job title, the bigger the asshole (except for designers, they’re incredibly humble!).
  4. No matter how much you smile at a person, they will not smile back at you.
  5. People are still wearing sunglasses inside (sadly).
  6. All sales people hate each other, even especially if they work for the same brand.
  7. For ten hours a day nobody eats, they just drink coffee – cream, no sugar.
  8. You will also stand for ten hours everyday – there will be NO sitting JUST STANDING.
  9. And for every minute of everyday you will contemplate faking the flu and asking to go home early, because at the end of the day you aren’t even getting paid for this.

This is the list my mom said would get me fired, but this is also the list I feel most important to share with my fellow deeply superficial members of the fashion industry. I know, superficial is quite the strong word, but then again I can explain.

Let me give you an example – it’s a little like the people who go on those special diets where you basically starve yourself for weeks on end (I’m totally guilty of this) and then report back to their friends with “OH MY GOD I FEEL SO GREAT.” Stop. Please just stop. You don’t feel great – actually, you feel pretty close to death but because you can’t admit to your friends that you’re actually suffering, you simply lie instead. So go ahead and post that selfie smiling next to your bottle of dirt water, but just know that I know – and many other people know – that you’re dying on the inside.

Same thing goes for Coterie – I can’t help but LAUGH at your pictures inside the Javits Center where you so desperately want people to think you’re having a good time. You know, the ones where you throw on your most uncomfortable heels just to look good while you walk around from booth to booth where no one pays attention to you. Or when you stood in line to take a picture in front of that really great #instawall located right next to the hour-long lunch line where you bought a banana that cost nearly as much as the designer sunglasses you refuse to take off. It’s ok, I get it – you want people to think you spent even a minute of your time in NYC when you really spent it in a giant warehouse full of shitty people, and quite honestly some shitty clothing too.

And in case you don’t hate me yet, I have one last thing to say – I know that you know that Coterie sucks and so do you.

Samantha

Ok just one last thing – I would like to acknowledge that everyone’s experience at Coterie may not and will not be the same as mine was. These are simply conclusions I drew from my own personal experiences and observations. So, if you did happen to have a truly pleasant experience then good for you. And if you didn’t then don’t worry, because nor did I or all the people I spoke with. 

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