…because what a disaster they were.

I think I was the only 12 year old in the history of 12 year olds who genuinely wanted to stay 12 forever. 13 was just an odd number and I didn’t like it, I guess that was the first sign of some really awful teenage years to come.

Then I was a freshman in high school, and as anyone who has ever been a freshman knows – the worst year of your life is spent as a high school freshman. I spent my fourteenth year of life trying to be someone I wasn’t, but then again who didn’t?

I turned 15 with a lot fewer friends than my teenage years prior. That was rough, but with that I made better friendships. This was also the year i became a “blogger.” I’ll link my 15 year old I-don’t-know-anything-about-anything-but-I-think-I-know-something-about-everything blog HERE. Seriously go read it, it’ll tell you everything you need to know about 15 year old Samantha.

At 16 I got reckless, like really REALLY reckless. 16 was supposed to be great and it wasn’t. My sixteenth year of life was spent f-cking up. We’ll get into details at another time, but just know that 16 year old Samantha came in like a wrecking ball, successfully destroying everything in her path.

I honestly can’t tell you what 17 looked like, as I spent much of it under the influence.

And all of a sudden I was starting college and things took a major turn ..for the better? I began caring again – not just about the people around me but myself as well. Starting college was SO exciting, but that spark burned quickly and things got boring. I became obsessed with this idea of being “happy” though struggled so hard to figure out what made me wholly happy.

And that brings me to where I am today, still trying to figure this whole life thing out. An interesting (for lack of better words) past behind me, I truly believe it’s only uphill from here. And in this very moment, writing these very words while sitting on a train in London, I feel happy.  I don’t want to speak too soon but I have this crazy feeling that the 20s are going to be something special – FINGERS CROSSED!

Samantha