My Professor brought up a good point when discussing blogs the other day; “I SIMPLY DON’T CARE.”
Now if you’re reading this, I am almost certain that this thought has crossed your mind at least once when either reading my blog, another blog, or simply perusing the internet for interesting content. There are so many platforms nowadays for us to share things with the world, and more often than not people have literally nothing to say. Though despite having LITERALLY NOTHING to say, people say it anyway – publishing their mindless thoughts for the world to see in hopes that someone will “like” their awful writing (both literally and figuratively). We live in a “like” obsessed world, and that my friends is just the sad truth. But I digress, back to this whole blogging thing – allow me to explain to you why your blog sucks so fuh-reaking bad:
- Is your content even RELEVANT?
- You’re probably a liar and/or a truth-stretcher (a new word I am in the process of legitimizing to Merriam-Webster, as we speak).
- Do YOU even care?
Point number one is probably the most obvious when it comes to your shitty blog – if you’re writing about what the sky looked like from your apartment window yesterday morning, do you really expect anyone to care? Let’s be honest here, that “amazing” sky of yours is one that everyone else lives under as well (i.e. one that everyone else can see with their OWN two eyes). So there you have it, either instagram a picture of “your” sky you basic you-know-what or just forget about it altogether because truth is NO ONE CARES.
Secondly, we all know your life isn’t half as glamorous as you make it out to be on your bullshit blog. This one really gets to me, especially when I know the person personally and can call them out on their shit writing as I read it. I’ve got some prime examples of this truth-stretching blogging and I would kill to share it with you, but I don’t have a whole lot of friends as it is so I’m not looking to decrease those numbers anytime soon. But just know that I know that you didn’t “attend” blah-blah-blah fashion show, but merely skimmed through it on Style.com a day after the collection showed and then decided to publish your less-than-mediocre summary of it on the internet – LIAR!
And lastly, I can spot a phony from a mile away (and so can everyone else). There are many times in our lives where we prefer the idea of something more than we actually prefer that thing. It’s sort of like I really like the idea of drinking iced coffee in the summer but I can’t stomach the taste of watered-down dirt and honestly I sometimes order it anyway because I like the way I look walking around with an iced coffee on a hot summer day. So if you read a blog and think “wow, I really like this!” don’t automatically jump to “I should start a blog too!” Trust me, it’s OK not to blog – especially if your blog is bullshit.
Hope no one was too offended by this. But if you were, then chances are your blog is actual bullshit.
P.S. Yes mom, I’m done using the word “bullshit” …for now.