“The Schedule One”

When a drunk man calls you the “schedule one” it’s not want you want to hear, but it’s what you need to hear. 
I was working/attending this event in the city on Monday night and on my way out ran into a few intoxicated older men. We all happened to be waiting for the elevator (event was in a penthouse by the way, and yes I’m totally bragging) so I stood there and giggled at their drunkenness. But when it was time for me to get in my cab back to Grand Central, where I’d take the train home, they were quick to invite me “out” with them. “We’ll bring you to Soho House” one exclaimed as I slowly turned my back and started walking away, “I have to catch a train and I have work tomorrow!” I yelled back. Just then, the other (more attractive) intoxicated (older) man said, “oh I get it, you’re the schedule one.” What the f-ck does that mean? Why not just call me the “uptight one” a–hole?? But as I slipped away, waiving goodbye to my perspective sugar daddies, I realized that YES, I AM the schedule one. I freaking loooove me a good schedule!
It wasn’t always this way, ya know? There was this time in high school where I could give two you-know-whats about a schedule. But times have changed, and so have I. I often feel like I can’t function, like life can’t go on, unless I have a written-down schedule. I mean I’m being dramatic, I can totally function without a schedule. Some call it obsessive – and though I can’t totally disagree with that statement – I just don’t see the harm in a very scheduled life. Schedules keep me calm and make me happy and it’s about time I come to terms with that!
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Picture from the night I had this “revelation,” if you will.

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