I guess talking about your failed love life is embarrassing, but I’m gonna do it anyway.

I was in the car with my friend the other night when she turned to me and said, “we need boyfriends.” I laughed, but only to avoid crying, because it is so sad how true she was – I do need a boyfriend. Boyfriends are fun and they take you places and whisper cute things in your ear and pay for your food, who wouldn’t want that? But at this rate it doesn’t seem like I’ll ever have one of my own. There’s no easy way for me to explain this, other than to create a list of the reason why I don’t have a boyfriend (and will probably live the rest of my life alone):

1. I don’t have time. With two jobs, both of which are out of state, I barely even have time to talk to my mom, never mind respond to a boyfriend. The idea of having someone or anything for that matter that would require a certain amount of time or attention from me just seems exhausting at this point of my life. It simply can’t be done!

2. I don’t like to smile. Resting bitch face is a serious problem that I just so happen to suffer from. I’ve been told on a number of occasions that my facial expressions are simply unapproachable. Trust me, I’ve tried to change but forcing a half grin just felt too phony and it made me angry.

3. I can’t seem to stay in one place for an extended period of time. Like, for example, right now I live in Connecticut and spend most of my time in New York, but a few months ago I lived at school in Massachusetts, then in a month I’ll be studying abroad and living in London. So that leaves me with the big question of where would I even have this boyfriend? In what state or country would this perspective boyfriend live? And no matter what, at some point in time, our relationship would be “long distance” – which just seems unmanageable.

4. I’m too self-absorbed. This basically goes back to point #1 and that is, I have no time to worry about anyone other than myself. I am far too wrapped up in supporting myself and building my own future that I can’t imagine someone else being a part of it. Is that totally egoistic of me to say?? This is where you say – “Yes Sam, it is.”

At this rate, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will probably be forever alone. I mean my cat can just keep me company – right? RIGHT?!

Samantha